My Newest Obsession

Have you ever bought or received a beauty product and knew you didn't like it after one use (or without using it at all)? If you're like me, you feel bad throwing these things away, so they collect in a random box or bag simply taking up space. On top of the random products I have collected over time, I also have been receiving Beauty Box 5 for four months now. For the most part, I enjoy trying all of the products, but occasionally, there are items for which I have no use (insert pink and blue eyeshadow palette or dark red lip plumper). A couple weeks ago, I ran across the website eDivv.com where you can trade beauty products. Talk about the perfect solution for all those random items lying around.

I joined eDivv on February 11th (less than two weeks ago) and have already had three successful Divvys (trades). Here are the trades I've made thus far:

Divvy #1: Estee Lauder eye shadow palette for a Julep nail polish in Brenda. 

I have had this palette since MIDDLE SCHOOL and since I rarely experiment with eye shadows, I was happy to pass it on. Prior to this trade, I went to paint my fingernails and realized I only had bold/bright colors, so I was excited to find this more neutral option. Julep nail polish retails for $14, so I would never buy it outright, but trading for it was a great option for me. I used it soon after it came in the mail and love it! It was chip-free for four days! I think I will get a lot of use out of this polish. [side note: You do have to pay for and execute the shipping. This was my first trade, so I stupidly bought a cushioned envelope from the post office and paid $3.69 for the envelope and shipping costs combined. Regardless, it was still a good deal in my mind.]

Divvy #2: Rock Star Nail Sprinkles for John Frieda Root Awakening Detangling Spray and Clinique High Impact Mascara

I just received these nail sprinkles in my February Beauty Box 5 and knew I would never use them. I liked the polish that came with it, but immediately uploaded this part to eDivv. Within the hour, I received a divvy request. I didn't like what she offered me (the mascara above and a three pack of glitter eyeliner -- yikes!), so I did a counter offer of items I actually wanted. (That's one of my favorite parts of the site. You can counter if there's something you'd rather have in their "shop" or decline it altogether.) These are supposed to arrive today in the mail, so I haven't gotten to use them yet, but I was glad to trade the sprinkles for items I will actually use. I was much smarter this time and purchased a ten pack of bubble mailers from Walmart (for around $5 total) and the shipping was a little over $2.

Divvy #3: True Blue Spa Foot Cream, BellaPierre Eye Shimmer, and Clinique 7 day scrub for Skylark 4-pack mini nail polishes. 

I tried to get these nail polishes from someone else and my offer was declined, so when I found them again, I tried once more. Another neat feature on the site is you can list specific (or general) items you're looking for or are interested in. I didn't have anything to offer this lady from her wish list, so I was actually a bit surprised when she accepted my divvy. These polishes supposedly retail for $29, which is absolutely absurd pretty expensive for mini nail polishes, but that was the reason I threw in three items. To me, even if the trade is a bit lop-sided, I'd rather have items I want and will use than keep items I don't need. I haven't received this one yet (actually I haven't even mailed my portion because the divvy just happened yesterday), but I will update on this polish when I receive it. I put my three items in the bubble mailer my Julep polish came in and expect the shipping to be around $3 (slightly heavier since it's three items). 

For me, the pros (get rid of products I don't want and receive products I do want to try) outweigh the cons (shipping charges/inconvenience of going to post office, trust system that person will actually send product). If you have any beauty items simply collecting dust, I highly recommend giving eDivv.com a shot and let me know how it goes! 

The M Word

Miscarriage. Approximately 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I am one of those 10-20%. Here is my story.

Thursday, December 5th, 2013, I found out I was pregnant. I woke up that morning around 5:30am and took a pregnancy test; it came back positive very quickly. When I woke Kevin (my husband) up to give him our news, he gave me a huge hug, and we both grinned with excitement. (This is a little different from his reaction when I was pregnant with Gideon. His response then was, "Great timing babe!" As if I did this all on my own...) We chuckled about his previous reaction and were thrilled that this time around, everything was starting on a positive note. (Side note: that first time, he quickly came around and was super excited -- quickly, as in later that morning.)

We were visiting family over the holidays, so even though it was still pretty early in the pregnancy (I was seven weeks on Christmas Day), we decided we would go ahead and spread the news to them and a few close friends. (It's way more fun to share exciting news in person, right?) Everyone was super pumped. There were a lot of surprised faces, hugs, and even tears. (There was also Kevin's Aunt Pam who was spreading that we were expecting before we announced it, and I am a terrible liar -- unless we're playing Mafia -- so that kept things interesting.)

Our first appointment at the OBGYN was on January 6th. My doctor's office calls this a "history appointment," which really just means a boring question and answer session about your health. The next appointment was scheduled for early February, and it was then we would get to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time.

That Friday, January 10th, I started having some uncomfortable pain on my right side. I did some "research" (meaning I went to the internet and looked up every potential problem) and was surprisingly unconcerned because I found that typically one-sided pain isn't super concerning during pregnancy. The pain continued on pretty consistently throughout the weekend and into Monday. Finally on Tuesday, I decided to call my OBGYN. She suspected it was a muscle strain, and it would resolve in a couple more days. If it was still present on Thursday, I was to call back. The next day (Wednesday), I was convinced it was an ovarian cyst. (I had one in high school that ruptured, and the pain felt very similar to what I experienced then.) So I decided to call early, and they scheduled me for an ultrasound the next morning.

I went in for my ultrasound, and the kind done on my stomach wasn't showing up clearly, so I had to do "the other kind." Very quickly, the ultrasound lady (technical term) found a cyst on my right ovary. She explained this was likely why I was experiencing pain, but that they are normal during pregnancy, and it wasn't an issue. I could see relief on Kevin's face. Then about 30 seconds later, she explained our baby had stopped growing a couple weeks before and was no longer alive. I then needed to go meet with my doctor who would explain what was to happen next.

The minute she left the room, I fell apart. My baby was dead.

I attempted to pull myself together (keyword: attempted), and we went into an exam room to meet with my doctor. She came in and expressed how sorry she was and then proceeded to explain the medication I would be taking. Basically, my body was still holding on to the baby and would likely continue to do so for quite some time without help from medicine or surgery. (Proof of this was the only time I threw up from morning sickness was that morning. My body was still pumping the hormones attempting to keep everything in order.) To avoid surgery, the medicine would essentially cause my body to go into labor to then pass the baby. Talk about a big pill to swallow (pun intended).

Kevin picked up my four bottles of meds that afternoon, and I began the process that evening. I am choosing not to go into further details of what that whole process was like because, well, it's not pretty, and I'd prefer not to gross anyone out. Let's just say, it wasn't pleasant. (If you want to know the details, just ask. I am willing to share them, just not via the blog-o-sphere.) It took my body a good two weeks to recover. Emotionally, recovery has been a bit more up and down, but I think I'll save that for a different post.

So why do I share this? To scare you from having a baby? I hope not. To gain sympathy from you? Nope. To make you feel badly if you are pregnant with a healthy baby? No way!

Two main reasons I decided to share my story: One, I process through writing. In middle school, I wrote poems. In high school and college, I wrote songs. And now, well, I guess I'm turning to this, a blog. The second is because people don't talk about miscarriage as frequently as it happens. It is becoming more and more discussed, but if God-forbid it happens to you (or someone you know), I want to make sure you know you're not the only one.

The last thing I want to leave you with (if anyone is still reading) is that even in the midst of heartbreak and messy times, God is still good. The bridge of "Desert Song" by Hillsong United (see video at the end to listen) says it perfectly:

I do have reason to sing and worship. Despite losing the child I carried for ten weeks, the God of the Universe is still worthy of praise. He sent His Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life, a life I could never live, and died the death I deserve, for the purpose of giving me (and you) life. And for that, I will always have reason to sing.